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You Can’t Change People, But You Can Change Yourself

Jan 2, 2023 | Capstones & Spotlight

This is a Capstone project by MaleksWorlds, a Guardian member within the Guardian Academy (TGA), who also happen to be Wolf Pup #17. A Capstone is one of the requirements necessary for an individual to complete on their journey to ascend to the final tier of TGA, Guardian. Malek was voted on by TGA community to be our 2022 Guardian of the Year. This means that he is a leader within the community, embodies “live to learn, give to earn”, and ultimately has figured out a way to play his own game while providing value at the highest level.

To get an idea of some of the value he has contributed you can go down the rabbit hole of articles he has created that have been already published by TGA. These publications will be linked in the resources section at the bottom of this article, along with any other pertinent information. We hope that you enjoy reading through his Capstone. Improvement of self is a long game, so open some loops, have some discussions, and then come back to the material to see what else you can gather. Here’s Malek’s end of the year Capstone (2022) project.


I am going to start with “WOW” what a year it has been. Over this past year, I have made so many mistakes that I am grateful for. The best part is that I was part of a community that not only provides support, but guidance that helped me move forward. 

If we have not met, allow me to introduce myself quickly. 

My name is Malek. I am a community manager in web3, and a person who appreciates connecting and creating relationships with others. 

I wasn’t always as confident as I am today. In fact, for the longest time I felt sorry for myself for wasting so many years of my life being stuck in a small circle. I am a recovering addict that abused drugs and alcohol for 8 years. Because of this, I felt like I wasted so many important years in my life and I felt a lot of shame and regret. But here’s the thing, even though I was proud that I changed my life around, I still struggled with my confidence. It felt like I was behind on “life” and I didn’t know which direction to take. 

In 2010 I decided to leave my home in Canada, and go on a journey of discovery. I spent the next 8 years traveling and trying to find my purpose in life. I lived in 7 countries, and travelled to more than 40. I learned so much throughout this 8 year journey, but I felt like I was stuck in my own world. This is why my Twitter handle is Maleks Worlds. 

In 2018, I moved back to Canada, and the first place I visited was the Salvation Army, a place where I spent many of my days when I was a drug addict and homeless. I saw so many of the same people still stuck there and still stuck in that life. That gave me a realization.

I realized that I was lucky to be part of the 1% who make it out of that life. I also realized that this group of people did not get the same opportunity as me, and that truly made me upset. I knew there was a way out from that life, but for some reason they couldn’t change theirs.

This is where I knew I had a responsibility. The responsibility to embrace what happened to me, and use my story to inspire and help others to move forward. I started reaching out to the families of people who were left behind due to their addiction. 

Why did I do that?

The truth is that I know for a fact that just like I needed the support to change my life around, they needed the same for them. Here is the thing: because you can’t change people, oftentimes families and friends give up on addicts and leave them behind. 

I have learned a lot since then. And what I have learned helped me overcome my own personal insecurities which allowed me to help others in a much more effective way.

Over the last year, 2022, I joined multiple communities that focus on education and self development, and I made it a goal of mine to help as many people as I can by using my story and skills to help direct and inspire others to do more. 

Today, I’m going to share with you what I have learned over the past years that has helped me overcome and answer so many of my unanswered questions.

Let’s start with the most important one:

1- YOU FIRST:

Put yourself first. Before you can help others, you need to help yourself. Make peace with your past and understand that it doesn’t matter what you did yesterday, and it’s all about today and tomorrow. If you don’t let go of your past, it will drag you down mentally and emotionally. 

Take full control of yourself, and have pride in what you do. When you shine you allow others to shine with you. When you shine, you will start to give. 

2- IT IS ALL ABOUT YOUR ENVIRONMENT:

Your mind will absorb everything around you. That means you will be influenced by it and it will directly influence your behaviors. Therefore, choose your surroundings very carefully, and if you don’t like where you are today, you have the opportunity to change your direction. You are not a rock. You are a human being that learns from everything that happens to them. Find the right group of people who will help make you a better person, and that will positively influence your behavior. 

3- PROBLEMS ARE YOUR FRIENDS

The best things that could happen to you are the problems you face. You will always be tested by life & when things are tough, know that it’s giving you an opportunity to learn something new that could possibly make things easier for you tomorrow. The bad things will eventually change, so ask yourself if you will grow from it. 

Ask yourself:

Where did things go wrong?

How did I mess up?

Do I have a way to change it?

Can I do it better next time around?

Pick up a pen and paper, and write down your answers. Keep them close to you where you can constantly look at them and remind you not to mess up.

4- THINK BIG & YOU WILL BE BIG:

The sky’s the limit my friend. Whenever you find yourself doubting what you can and can’t do, remember that every achievement starts as a “dream”. It is up to you to turn your dreams into actionable steps and make them goals you can achieve. 

The world is changing so fast, use this opportunity to leverage the technology around you and allow it to work with you rather than against you. Take big risks and don’t play “small”. That doesn’t benefit anyone, including yourself. 

5- INFORMATION IS BIGGER THAN MONEY:

Information leads to money. When you learn how to do something, it will fill your bank with money. Always stay a student, and shadow people that you see as your future self. If you don’t have money, but know how to do something and have the right information that can lead you to teach it to others, eventually you will have enough authority to charge for your knowledge and skills.

6- FEAR WILL LIMIT YOUR REACH

Allowing fear to get into your decision making will limit you from taking risks. If you can’t take risks and always play “safe”, your growth will be dramatically limited. Fear is something made up in your mind, I know this because we don’t fear the same things. While I may fear creepy crawlies, others keep them as pets. This confirms that our fears are made up in our mind and it’s the main reason why people feel and get stuck. 

7- TIME IS YOUR MOST IMPORTANT ASSET:

Your time is valuable. Use it wisely and give it to the people who will appreciate it and listen to what you have to say. Cater to those who are there to support your journey and share your knowledge with them. If you catch yourself saying: “I don’t have time to do this” it’s one of two:

  • You have time management problems.
  • You don’t want to do it. 

In both cases it’s something you can change. If you have time management problems, break your activities to “Important”, “Urgent”. Urgent stuff can be done right away. Important stuff can be pushed around to be done at a suitable time. 

8- ADAPT GOOD HABITS:

If you are clear about what you want to do, and know exactly what you want, you can get there faster by adapting the right habits. Remove anything that is not giving you a push towards where you want to go. Sometimes you need to sacrifice to gain, don’t be afraid to sacrifice the things that are not helping grow. 

9- ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE YOUR BEST 

Stop seeking others’ approvals. You don’t need anyone to tell you to do anything. Recognize that you are great and worthy. We don’t often perceive ourselves as others perceive us. Stop dragging yourself down and believe in your ability to achieve more. If you are alive right now and reading this, then you have already proved that you are at the top of your game. Give yourself the credit you deserve, and take your foot off the brakes. Press the gas and keep going. 

Happy New Years my friends,

Your friend: Malek.

Original Tweet- https://twitter.com/MaleksWorlds/status/1610074111165829124?s=20&t=QJza_3K53qdCo_VfZ95kXw

Resources

  1. Follow MaleksWorlds- https://twitter.com/MaleksWorlds\
  2. What is a Capstone Project?- https://guardianacademy.io/tga-capstone-project/
  3. Other Articles by Malek